Hey we are human, we’re fallible, emotional and irrational. We’re flawed. It’s through our existence that these traits are exposed to us and sometimes in the most disappointing of ways. We expect much of ourselves and yet when bad emotions cloud our judgement, the feeling of letting ourselves down is all to brutal. Jealousy, fear, vengeance, obsession and disappointment can overwhelm our logic. Worse, sometimes we won’t even admit to ourselves these feelings. Convincing ourselves its our sense of being right, moral or good. All too often when left unchecked it’s too late and we do something which we later regret. So how can we control these emotions?
1) Take stock
First is to rationalise your feelings. To understand the cause is to work out a strategy to conquer them. Remind yourself of the positives in your life. Reduce the upset by diminishing the emotion in your mind. Imagine it getting smaller and smaller making you feel indifferent to the negative emotion.
2) If your reaction is provoking a negative feeling, remove yourself from it
If the first suggestion isn’t working then try avoidance, at least until the strength of feeling has passed. Often we say things we regret, best to just walk away from any situation that is causing the negative feeling. If that means unfollowing someone on facebook, so be it. Don’t unfriend them though. The practice isn’t to cause intentional hurt, it’s to remove yourself without anyone else being affected. If you’re seeking a reaction from the other person then you’re playing up to the emotions you’re trying to conquer.
3) Focus on something else
Another side effect of negative emotions is that they become all consuming. If you’re dwelling on someone having something you don’t or achieving something you haven’t then put your energy into creating what you want for yourself rather than see it taken from another person.
4) Forgive yourself
Its natural to get these feelings but it only affects you. You may feel guilty for having them or behaving out of turn because of them but it’s important to realise that these feelings are caused by you and no one else. You are in control of changing how you feel about the situation. These negative emotions are not doing you any favours. Forgive yourself and then focus on positive steps to over-come them.
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