Recently I’ve experienced two situations where I’ve gotten incredibly hurt. In both situations, I’ve felt like I was mentally attacked and mentally manipulated. Few recognised the seriousness of each situation and because I was unheard and dismissed, I was angry.
It's anger I carry around with me from month to month and year to year. I began to dwell on revenge. 'They hurt me, so I can hurt them' but I won’t because I don’t want to become them. Who would be the victor? Would I be healed from these experiences knowing they got there comeuppance? Maybe but as the proverb goes when seeking revenge, dig two graves.
Instead, I walked away, removed myself from these situations and every time I got angry I would say this to myself- if they have done wrong then they’re fate is sealed. Meaning that I wouldn’t have to do anything because if I’m right in my convictions that they have behaved underhand then karma will punish them not me. I just need to find my peace again. To remind me that these people would not destroy my kindness towards others. I would not become them. They were led by bitterness. I would remain myself and if karma should come to bite them, I won’t celebrate, I’ll pity them because it could have been avoided by just realising it’s not for us to bring other people down. If they are acting wrong, a higher force will propel them to act differently. So armed with this change of thinking I’m trying to let go of the hurt. It doesn’t serve me.
I won’t forgive and I won’t forget but I can release my inner turmoil because that is where my real power lay. I focus on myself, my goals, my needs and the people who are the best thing about my life.
These are the mental exercises I’m using to help me separate myself from my experiences.
Cutting the cord
The first one is I envision the person who has caused the distress and while feeling the anger I then cut the cord that bound us together. I then walk away leaving them grounded... to be honest though, I often imagine them dangling from a cliff, I cut the cord and they fall away.
Floating away ballon
For this one, I use the feeling I have and I imagine blowing up a ballon and all of these emotions goes the ballon. I then release the ballon and in doing so imagine all the feelings releasing from me.
Fading photograph
Here I imagine I see a photograph of them and I concentrate on feeling indifference. I shrug my shoulders as though they are inconsequential and then I place the photo inside a book. As though it means nothing.
Let me know if any of these work for you or if you use any other techniques.
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